Vandy day 2

It's been two days in Vandy and I had my first class today. I almost cried realizing that I could barely understand what Doc V was teaching and I've never felt more stupid in my whole life than I did today. I pretty much fucked up the quizzes and assessment and I already had the thought of going home and enroll at UM instead (lmao). But who am I kidding, this is a one way ticket.

I am here because Allah chose me instead of thousands of people who would die for this opportunity; given to a person like me, who most probably deserve less than this. I am here and I bawa nama Malaysia and harapan my parents to see me succeed. My dad has worked so hard to fulfill my needs and he deserves to have a child who would make all his sleepless nights, sweats and tears worth it. And my mum, she has so much faith in me, letting her down is definitely the last thing I would ever wanna do.

Travelling and shopping are my desires but that's not why I'm here. Even if I don't wanna do it for myself, I gotta do it for the people who deserve this from me. And most importantly, for Allah swt who has given me this big of a nikmat sedangkan banyak lagi hamba Allah yang lain yang mungkin lebih layak.

So make the best of what you have, girl. I know it's not gonna be an easy journey. But this, I promise you:

As long as your mother's prayers are with you, as long as you mean well doing the things you do, and as long as your heart never stops praying for His mercy, protection and assistance sincerely, wallahi you'll do great. 

So do it for Allah azza wa jalla.

Do it for him and only him, for you don't want to be one of the first three groups of people to enter the Jahannam, nauzubillahiminzalik.