Kawan perempuan

Last week I came across a tweet saying something about running to a best friend when something screws up or something goes wrong or there’s a tea to spill and it hit me.

I don’t think I have any super close girl best friend anymore.

My boyfriend is my best friend. My boyfriend is the one that listens to my petty stories and also the serious ones. My boyfriend is also the one that makes me laugh like a best friend does. But there is only so much he can do cause from time to time I still miss having a girl best friend. (Don’t remind me of my smekkies girls, they are still my close friends but it’s not the same).

Vanderbilt sucks. TGB wasn’t so great either. My TGB best friends that I actually talk more to compared to others are also guys; Qhamar, Aiman and Imran. (Hi Faiqi, I know you’ll read this I love you 🤪 but our timezone always clash ☹️)

Imran is having an open house (EMC/TGB gathering) real soon and oh my god, I dread it thinking of my position with the girls now.

Alliya probably hates me because of the Aiman case. Anees Sofea definitely does for whatever reason she thinks is right, then there are Farah and Dini who are definitely close and closer to them than me. 

Hi xxyz,

I sedih sangat fikir cam kenapa la I tak masuk kawan dengan perempuan yang bukan macam SAB clique. It makes me wonder “I problematic sangat ke?” tapi honestly those perempuan yang hate on me tu benci I tak memasal bagi I. Dah la benci aku pasal lelaki lmao losernya alahai aku rasa aku tak pernah menggatal dengan boyfriend kau, you insecure and immature asses!! And as if it doesnt make it even worse that those I consider my close friends like Zarina who I KNOW genuinely sayang I as a friend jugak are also or more rapat with those girls.

I pernah sembang a few times benda ni dengan Wazeef and mesti akan nangis but he will always say “You memang tak boleh masuk la dengan orang camni, nak buat camna? Bukan salah you pun.” And also sumpah I tak perasan tapi kalau orang jealous or dengki dengan I nak buat camna?

Sumpah tak rasa I baik dan perangai ok cam “omg orang lain la pahal benci aku” tapi sorry la aku tak boleh la tolerate perempuan2 berpuak benci tak memasal sebab dengki. Kalau tak suka cakap depan depan.

Rindu.

Rindu gelak gelak, gossip gossip hangout sesama baring menyendeng on each other dengan perempuan; rasa dah lama tak rasa.

And ugh, tak sukanyaa fikir start sem nanti dah start duduk ada orang kat bilik/kat rumah :(