forgiving

I am telling myself that I have to be forgiving, even though no one is apologizing to me.

I am telling myself that I am going to forgive them,

even if the truth is they don’t owe me an apology.

Because if I am not doing this, I will be in anger and never letting go of my past.

So I am telling myself that I am going to forgive them, because past is past and we all deserve to move forward.

I forgive you for the scars you left on my life and the people that I love,

I forgive you for the times I terjaga from my sleep, menangis sungguh-sungguh seolah olah the nightmare that I had was real.

I forgive you for the mess that is going on in our “association”,

I forgive you-

even though you do not owe me any apology.

even though it makes me entitled to say all this.

even though I am the one who is wrong in many ways.

Right now, I’m letting my ego and arrogance to take over me;

I do not owe you any apology.