Wow girl spoke too soon, eh? Lol.

So just last night I was feeling so grateful and stuff and then things went downhill ridiculously today hahaha.

But all is good now so it’s okay.

But here I just want to say that every time I have my crazy episodes (ya apparently they still do visit me from time to time unlike how “better already” I thought I was), I ALWAYS hold back from calling anyone at all especially knowing that I have a lot of friends who battle with emotional health issues as well (even though they don’t tell me). But today, I decided to ring Zarina anyway and I swear the last thing I said before I did was “but Zarina cares about me!” and God knows how huge of a deal it is to me that I was right.

I know I haven’t been making the efforts to anyone at all and I know it’s not like anyone really waits for me or anything but despite our distance and our silence, to the people I care about, if you are reading this, I hope you know you are always on my mind from time to time. I hope I could tell how so many times I wanted to share what weighs me so heavily, so badly, but God knows how huge of a struggle that can be for me — I don’t even know how to begin. Or even to just start casually begin connecting, errr that can be such a scary thing for me— I legit find myself saying “No, I takut.” Takut apa pun exactly, entahlah.

Sometimes bila dihimpit kesedihan or susah yang terlampau and it makes you feel like you are completely alone in it, it makes you ask God “Kenapa kena tanggung sendiri? Memang kena tanggung sendiri ke?”

Memang sungguh kena rely hanya pada Allah tapi Allah juga yang berkuasa hantar dan gerakkan hati orang lain untuk tolong kita. Kenyataannya manusia bukan dicipta hanya untuk sendirian, itu kepercayaan aku.

Kenyataannya dalam dunia ni, masih akan ada orang yang nak ada untuk kita. Jadi walaupun susah, kena reach out juga, sebab macam mana orang nak tahu kalau kita tak beritahu?

Dalam dunia ni, masih ada orang yang kisah.

Yang tak kisah tu kau boleh lupakan je. Bye.