setia

When Wan Emir’s mum said “kerana kita tidak mahu setia kerana janji, kita akan setia kerana cinta, hanya kerana cinta”, it really hit me. 

God knows how much I truly loved W in the way that I really felt like if I were to describe love, it would be all that I felt and did for him in his knowledge, and even without him knowing. Apa I rasa untuk Wazeef, I I legit rasa itulah cinta. But just as much as I would’ve wanted to keep clinging on to it, how could I after all that he had done and chose to do?

Some people may be good for others but what use will it be to cling on to something that isn’t meant for you?

Loyalty is a choice and it was a choice I had always made in the past 4 years that I had you in my heart; for as long as I loved you.

Loyalty is a choice and my loyalty for you was never bound by the official title of “I am yours and you are mine” but rather, it was in the name of love, of wanting to share a future together, of wanting to learn through life’s ups and downs together; 

hand-in-hand, 

together.

But maybe I was too blind to see or was fooled into thinking that you truly felt the same way, too when the fact is it was never the case.

Maybe I was the one who clung onto it so so much when all you wanted was to let go,

because maybe,

maybe you never really loved me and I was too blind to see.

And just like it had always been my choice to stick loyal to you, to honor the love we had, or whatever that was, it was also your choice to do what you did and that is that.

Semoga suatu hari nanti semuanya Allah ganti,

mungkin aku saja yang belum layak untuk semua yang Tuhan masih simpan.