let go of wanting control

 Just like finding my way to you, many times, have always been unplanned, if it’s meant for us, we will find our way to each other again. 

And if we don’t, then what’s so bad about that that I am trying so hard to micromanage my universe?

Because if we don’t, then that will only mean Allah swt providing for us what’s way better than what we hoped for.

How could I allow that to become my fear?

--

What is for sure is that I have been in this position many, many times before; of how I was left waiting and my patience was tested as I saw the people around me having the things I actually long for deep inside in my heart... and yet Allah swt, yang tak pernah menyalahi janjiNya, came through. 

Every. single. time.

To save me and provide for me.

This is not me doubting,

this is not me questioning,

and not even wanting what others have

because deep down, Allah knows better how I feel.

Allah knows better how much I believe that what is meant for me is only for me and is the best for me.

But how could it be wrong for a normal human being like me to say out what weighs heavy in her heart, right?

--

I miss my Macbook, this is me writing with my work Dell and somehow it doesn't feel the same haha 

My Macbook has been with me through so many writings through my college years.. aaa i miss it a lot now.

meant for us

 I think the heart’s true peace is found when it has truly accepted that not everything and everyone in this life is meant for us, and that what is meant for us, will always, eventually make their way home to us.

This means that in anything, someone could be so much better than you, or you could be seemed as the one who’s above your other competitors, but at the end of it all, it always boils down to whether or not, the thing you want is what Allah has decreed for you.

But then, it is worth noting that nothing will ever reach us without our best efforts. As Allah has said in the Quran, “Verily, Allah will not change the condition of the people as long as they do not change their state themselves.” in Surah Ar Rad 13:11.

Maybe one could see it as this; there’s a bag of gold meant for you on a mountain and it has already been set for you, but then, if you never make your way there yourself, how can you ever be in possession of it? Right?

Maybe when you’re job hunting and then you think of, hmM when will I ever start working (this really happened to me in the past that whenever someone asks me for tips, I would always say, 90% of it is merely because it’s rezeki and meant for me. But God knows the efforts I had put in.) Trust that Allah already knows where and when you should start working, but until you finally get there, you gotta keep going.

Hopefully with this knowledge of how “Not everything and everyone is meant for us and that’s okay.” and that “Whatever Allah witholds from us when we have asked Him so sincerely for it, believe that He does it with limitless knowledge and mercy.”, I hope that we are able to put our worries at ease every time they get us too fazed.

Not everything and everyone in this life is meant for us and that is truly, totally, fine. :)

May we all be united with what God, with His ultimate love and mercy, decrees for us.

-

Kita takkan boleh kawal apa orang lain buat ataupun rasa tapi kita boleh tentukan apa yang kita sendiri nak buat. Kalau saja tulus hatimu atau kebaikanmu atau sayangmu yang tanpa batas itu hanya menjadi sesuatu yang orang lain sia-siakan atau lebih teruk, people take advantage of it, maka ikhlaskan saja hatimu dan teruskan berdoa semoga Allah lindung dan Allah jaga. Yang paling penting, diri sendiri niat tu sentiasa ikhlas dan jujur. Dulu I pernah sukaa sangat this one ayat that it has even been my twitter header for years and years and still is; “Hal jazaa ul ihsani illal ihsan” 

Is there any reward for good other than good?

Rupanya hidup ni dimudahkan dengan doa. Takut ke apa-apa, semua doa jelah sebab there’s nothing better you can do I rasa haha

-

Penantian aku itu Tuhan tahu seperti apa,

takut aku juga Tuhan tahu seperti apa.

Alhamdulillah untuk rasa ini,

dimana mahu aku seperti apa pun,

kuatnya bagaimana pun,

aku masih bisa mahu lebihnya pada apa yang Tuhan rasa baik untukku.

Penantian aku Tuhan tahu seperti apa,

doa aku semuanya Tuhan juga pendengar setia.

Aku masih belajar,

dan perlahan-lahan terus mencuba.

Semoga Tuhan sentiasa jaga,

dan terus mendengar.

Semoga saja suatu hari nanti,

tepat masanya,

semua yang aku doakan,

semua yang aku harapkan,

semuanya menemui aku sesuai yang aku harapkan,

malah mungkin saja lebih.

Sebab sifat Allah itu Maha Pemurah.

Dan Allah Maha Baik.

Yang kurang itu aku,

yang masih belajar itu aku.

Kalau satu dunia tidak tahu dan tidak faham pun,

cukup saja Allah yang tahu.

ramadhan venting 2021? haha

Aaaah, you have no idea how much I am missing my Macbook because my emotions internally have been having so many thoughts and feelings and I just wanna write them down but my Macbook suddenly decided to fail on me :"( 

But anyway, 

here I am today,

Hello, xxy-z.

Honestly, I have been feeling so confused with life recently and having fears in certain aspects and uncertainties and to counter all of those feelings I have been listening to speeches and talks again and try to come closer to God again.

Honestly, I am lowkey ashamed with myself because when things are all good, I do literally everything to my heart's content and then when I start to get fazed by life again, then I'll start to find Allah again and talk to Him and whatnots. But then again, I also frequently tell myself "Kepada siapa lagi seorang hamba pulang kalau bukan kepada penciptanya?"

Anyway, I am here to write this..

----

The prayers I have made in my entire life to have my relationship with W to work out adalah doa yang I rasa, paling banyak dan paling tulus I pernah buat dalam masa yang quite lama dalam seluruh hidup I. Back then, when I wanted to describe cinta, I reached a point where I reaaaaaally rasa, apa I ada untuk W dulu, itulah cinta. Betapa hancur hati tapi kuatkan balik, nangis banyak2 dalam solat semua, Allah saja yang lebih tahu dalamnya sayang I tu tahap apa huahaha. And yet, walaupun I doa banyak2 sangat for it, what has happened now is that Allah tak makbulkan doa tu dalam cara yang I harapkan sedangkan itu doa yang paling banyak dalam hidup I dan in my life, tak pernah Allah tak makbulkan apa yang I tulus harapkan. Idk what will happen in the future, but right now, I am truly grateful to finally being able to be where I am now, and to realize that even in His witholding, God is always giving. 

Kerana keinginan yang Allah tak makbulkan itulah yang sekarang menjadi sumber kekuatan for me to strengthen my belief in God whenever things don't go my way; kalau saja Allah menahan sesuatu dari kita sedangkan hati kita berharap sangat, percayalah, kalau Allah tak kasi jugak walau dah usaha and doa banyak sangat, percayalah yang Allah tu sedang menjaga dan melindung dan Allah Maha Tahu. Tak semestinya sesuatu yang tak baik untuk kita itu entirely tak baik as an individual, tapi mungkin particularly memang tak baik *untuk kita* sahaja.

Also, percayalah, dalam hidup ini takda coincidence semata-mata. Banyak perkara dalam hidup kita, kalau bukan semua, pasti terjadi kerana Allah dah susun cantik dan tetapkan dah. Kadang kita terlalu takut kena tipu atau tersalah langkah, or whatever la, sedangkan nyatanya kita tak sentiasa punya kuasa untuk be in control of all things and at all times. Jadi, I have come to realize dalam hidup ni, cara untuk go through life adalah dengan banyak-banyak berdoa je and minta Allah jaga, dalam semua hal dan perkara. 

Kadang kita terlalu nak sesuatu, tapi sometimes things dont work out the way they want to, or maybe just belum lagi.. Maka, bila rasa mahu tu kuaat sangat in your heart, tenangkanlah hati dan berdoa minta pada Allah, dan percaya sajalah.. 

Sebab I have really reached the point where I realize that I am truly powerless in a lot of things; I wanna protect myself better but my capabilities are limited. Tetapi Allah, Allah takda batas.

Malu rasa dengan diri sendiri, sebab bila ada masalah and kemahuan yang teramat sangat, baru cari Tuhan dan pulang dengan Tuhan. Bila rasa diri dah takda kuasa, baru cari Tuhan and nak berserah dengan Tuhan. Tetapi tak apa lah, selagi kita bernafas, selagi belum kiamat, selagi itu pintu Allah, in shaa Allah sentiasa terbuka.

This is me saying Thank You to Allah swt; the One who has always taken care of me and countless of times allowing this mere servant who has transgressed a lot and lot and yet, Allah sentiasa ada untuk mendengar, melindung dan menjaga.

Kedepannya aku tak tahu seperti apa. Hati hanya boleh berdoa dan cuba berlindung di bawah jagaan Tuhan tetapi ini adalah aku memujuk diriku;

yakinlah, semua doamu Tuhan mendengar.

Bila Tuhan tak kabulkan, 

Tuhan lakukan itu dengan kebijaksanannya yang tanpa batas DAN sifat Allah adalah Arhamar-rahimin (Paling penyayang antara semua yang penyayang).

Lepaskanlah semua yang membebanimu,

semua yang bukan siapa dirimu yang sesungguhnya,

pulanglah kepada siapa kamu yang sebenarnya,

kamu dalam forma yang paling bahagia;

seorang hamba yang yakin dan berlindung dengan Tuhannya.

berlapang dada

They always use the metaphor of how medicines are bitter when they talk about how you gotta go through some hurtful shit in your life just so you will be better at some point or just later on for a long long time in your life.

And I think that's true.

I still remember how for years, I prayed so much for something and still in the end, it still didn't turn out like how I wanted it to be. I wanted it so, so much, like I never wanted anything else more in my entire life.

But time has passed now, 

and my heart is utterly grateful having taught myself about how things always work out in the way *Allah* deems better for us. 

And that indeed, 

will always,

be,

the better case for us.

With all the challenging times I had been put in, trying to go through and just get by in life,

here I am now..

A person who's more.. berlapang dada,

with everything that flows in my life.

Whatever that doesn't work out,

my heart is at ease,

knowing that Allah itu Maha Tahu.

Percayakan sahaja.

Dalam Allah mengambil juga, itu sebenarnya suatu pemberian,

yang datang dari kasih sayang Ar-Rahman.

Kini aku lebih berlapang dada,

seyakin-yakinnya mahu percaya;

Semua yang ditakdirkan dan diciptakan untuk aku tak akan pernah terlepas dariku.

Maka tak akan aku paksa apa yang bukan Allah ciptakan untukku.

tbh

To be honest, this keeps me wondering and wanting the answer. 

To be honest, this isn’t an easy thing to decide. 

To be honest, I also realize how I could ask anyone for their opinion but deep down I know that it will all go back to the best way of determining it;

which is through the guidance from Allah.

Nothing else.

And to be honest, despite how it feels very vague at this point, I am already at peace and I find satisfaction in knowing that if I start to continuously pray for it and ask Allah for guidance about it, when it finally comes, I get to say and know that Allah guided my decision all along. 

Like, “I’ve prayed for this my entire life and I’ve prayed for this guidance for a long long time” kinda thing.

taking things for granted

today i came back from my parents' place with the realization of how God has granted me with so much and so often I took them for granted. So often I went through my days thinking that I'd be fine if someday they get taken away from me, or maybe not spending enough time pondering and realizing that my life would actually, truly, turn if the day comes that God takes His granted blessings for me, from me.

Nyatanya tak ada yang kekal selain Allah swt.

Nyatanya semua di dunia ini, semuanya pasti akan berlalu pergi.

today i was hit with the realization that before you truly take something for granted, thinking that you don't need some people in your life so you do your life as you wish, 

berhentilah mendongak terlalu tinggi ke langit, 

dan sadarlah.

Semua yang ada dengan kita takkan pernah selamanya ada,

dan semua yang ada dengan kita,

semua itu ada dengan izin Tuhan,

dan sungguh, demi Allah,

sebagaimana semuanya adalah pemberian,

selagi pemberian itu di dunia ini,

pemberian itu tak lain hanyalah pinjaman.

Maka bersyukurlah selagi yang kau punya masih Tuhan izin disisimu,

kerna takkan kau punya jawabnya soal sampai bila semuanya akan terus ada untuk dirimu.

Dan jika masanya telah tiba untuk Tuhan ambil kembali pinjamanNya darimu,

berlapang dadalah,

dan lepaskan;

berlapang dadalah dan lepaskan,

dengan hati yang benar-benar percaya,

meski saat Dia mengambil,

Dia juga memberi.

Semoga Tuhan membuka mata kita dan mata hati kita untuk sedari semua rezeki dan pemberian yang telah Dia berikan kepada kita,

semuanya datang hanya kerana rahmat dan kasih sayang dari Dia Yang Maha Esa.

--

Tonight I am grateful for my family.

And I pray that I will never take my blessings, especially the people in my life, for granted.

And forever I pray,

that my heart finds ease and peace,

the greatest amount of ease and peace I could ever feel,

only in the love of God.

Forever I pray the heart finds the need and reliance towards Allah.

Forever I pray that the heart finds relief in having trust in Allah.

Forever I pray the heart finds healing in coming home and being close to Allah.

and even if the whole world was to leave me and turn their backs on me,

i pray that forever it will be,

that God allow me to always be able to come back and return to him,

and that forever it will be,

that my heart finds ease and peace in knowing that I have Him with me.

life update: embarking

A major lesson the past few months have taught me is that, life can really be so uncertain, and the ultimate power of everything lies only in the hands of Allah swt.

I have long stopped telling people much about my struggles or my dreams, but rather, whatever that I wish for and dream of, even if it may seem far-fetched for me at the moment, I find comfort and satisfaction in making prayers to Allah swt about it, or even by merely sharing it all with Him, while at the same time, working within my means in the best possible way that I can to make it happen.

When you are in the uncertain phase of your life and nothing seems to go your way, it really can get so difficult and very much confusing for you. 

But once Allah grant your prayers I tell you, Allah bagi tu banyaaaak sangat sampai kadang macam tak cukup tangan nak tadah. 

This is life, isn't it?

To remain steadfast and having full faith during the times of uncertainty will be the test of your faith.

Bila menunggu di saat takda apa-apa tu memang rasa nak putus harapan je,

tapi percayalah,

sabar saja;

semua yang you doakan,

semua Allah dengar,

dan semua Allah akan perkenankan pada masa yang paling baik.

Kalau tak sabar,

dari mana kau nak dapat pahala bersabar?

Kalau tak ada gelap,

macam mana kau nak kenal terang?

Kalau tak ada harapan,

macam mana kau nak kenal Allah dan semua sifat baikNya?

--

Banyak lagi benda yang I masih harap dan doakan,

and I pray that if it's good for me,

Allah grants it all for me,

all at the right time.

--

Ada banyak benda yang I tak tahu,

tapi Allah tahu.

Bila kau sedar kau punya batas

tapi Allah swt tidak punya batas dalam kekuasaanNya,

jadi kau titip pada Tuhan segala yang tak mampu kau jaga,

yang kau tak punya pengetahuannya.

Dan sesungguhnya,

semua yang kau titip pada Tuhan takkan pernah hilang dari jagaanNya.

all the love that you had given that had always ever been so sincere,
by God, they will find their way back to you.

Sebab yang membalas bukan manusia,
tapi Tuhan.

pasti kembali

In one of the speeches I have been listening to, I learned that semua yang didunia ini, jika dia telah pergi kepada Allah, dia takkan kembali. Tapi doa; bila ia pergi kepada Allah, ia pasti akan kembali.

Maksud kembali adalah; it will come back to the one that made the du’a in the first place.

Kadang mungkin kita dah lupa the small or even big prayers we made a few years ago ke apa, but Allah tak pernah lupa. Dalam sabar kita, ada pahalanya dan dalam setiap doa kebaikan yang kita buat juga Allah beri pahala. Pengabulannya adalah cerita yang lain; ini baru sahaja pahala/ganjaran yang Allah beri hanya semata kita telah meminta dan bercerita kepada Allah.

Kerana hamba yang meminta dan bercerita kepada Allah mestilah mereka yang percaya pada kekuasaan Tuhannya, dan setidaknya, mereka percaya bahwa Allah itu ada; 

Allah mendengar dan Allah berkuasa.

Semoga Allah izin kita terus bercerita kepadaNya dan semoga Allah kabulkan segala kebaikan yang kita harapkan.

In this time of trials;

Oooh, what a time to be alive.

God chose for me

tonight in my prayers i was hit with the realization of how Allah has chosen for me and how I had always been satisfied by His choices, and looking back, I never truly saw them coming before they came and reached me.

Allah chose SAB for me when I prayed so, so, hard to be accepted into Seri Puteri Cyberjaya and was sad over it for at least the first half of my first year in high school. It turned out that my years in SAB were my golden years and I made the best of friends I still get to treasure till today.

Allah chose TGB for me when I so badly wished I could stay in SAB with my friends, which got me away from being at home and helped me build myself and the way I bring myself among my people, literally.

Allah chose Vanderbilt in the US for me when I truly had no idea or wish on going anywhere after SPM, which will forever remain as among my greatest memories/opportunities in my life and for majorly, I met W here which had literally gave a huge meaning and impacted my life on a grand scale.

And quite recently last year, as I made continuous prayers to God and again, not knowing where I wanted to go, Allah chose Schlumberger for me; the company many could only dream to work for, which also turned out to be the place where I met people whom I loved being around and loved my company.

Never have Allah given me any less than what my heart desired so I may not be in my best state at the moment, but I have faith in the power of du'a and in the power of Allah swt who is Al-Kareem; the Most Generous, and Al-Hakeem; the Wise one.

May Allah swt have mercy on us and keep choosing for us, and making us happy with all that He chooses for us.

I always tell God of what I truly desire, even if I have no idea on how to make it happen/correct it in the way I would be happy with it but I always assure myself and say in my prayers that

"This is what I truly hope for but ya Allah, I don't know what You know and above it all, I want what You think is best for me and make me happy with your decree. But please ya Allah, this is what I want. Make it right ya Allah, if it's good for me."

And in shaa Allah, percayalah yang whatever that is meant for you, will always reach you. Ada banyak benda yang kita tak tahu tapi Allah tahu, jadi husnudzon dengan Allah. Mungkin Allah sedang menjaga kita :) But make prayers for all that you want;

Doa boleh mengubah takdir. Kuasa Allah takda batas.

ramadhan writingz #1

It will be the third night of Ramadhan tonight and I truly have been feeling so appreciative and sejuk with the fact that Allah swt allowed me to experience this holy month this year. I honestly had never been a person who likes tarawih but this year, it reaaaaally hits different. 

I looked back and ponder on certain things and I began to realize how Allah swt has always granted my everyday prayer; for Him to always teman me in my life and guide me in what I do, and I have truly realized how this MCO has saved me from a major thing in my life that could have possibly severed my relationship with my family, particularly my parents.

There are always hikmah in all things that Allah swt decrees on us, just pray that He'd allow us to see and realize them at the right time.

Have a blessed Ramadhan, my ladies ♡

saying a prayer

I pray that whatever good that is meant for me,

will come to me,

all at the right time.

I let God know of what my heart desires,

while still keeping in mind that above it all,

I want what He thinks is best for me,

and for Him to make my heart content 

with what He grants me.

This is me assuring myself,

that I am still on my journey.

This is me assuring myself,

that my Lord knows what is best for me,

as much as He knows what I truly desire.

And He loves me,

even more than my own mother loves me.

This is me reminding myself,

my Lord has a great bounty.

This is me assuring myself,

just like how he lifted the heaviness in my heart today,

He will grant me,

as He always grants me.

MCO tingz

The same Lord that has put a halt to the entire world right now is also the same Lord who is the Most Merciful amongst all that have mercy, so will you be patient and continue to have faith?

kembali

in all honesty, i have always been the kind of person who just wishes to know other people's stories so that she could relate, so that somehow I could kinda foresee what to expect of the future considering what i go through in the moment, and honestly, i don't like that i always do this.

Because.. kenapa kena fikir apa orang lain lalui and macam mana dia lalui benda tu semua and apa nanti yang jadi kat dia sebab bukan ke semua orang ada jalan hidup dia sendiri dan kepada Allah lah seseorang hamba di dunia ini patut mengharap dan meminta?

On another note, I percaya sangat yang tak ada kebetulan dalam apa saja yang terjadi dalam hidup kita; semuanya ada hikmah kenapa kita nampak apa yang kita nampak, kita lalui apa yang kita lalui dan kita tahu apa yang kita tahu; semuanya pasti ada yang Tuhan mahu ajarkan.

And tonight, dalam I was subtly trying to find something to read to soothe my heart, I came across a posting of a woman who went into labor as usual, only to find out that the baby she had been carrying died in her womb and did not make it.. innalillahi waiinna ilaihi rajiun :( 

Milik Allahlah semua yang dilangit dan dibumi,

milik Allahlah semua yang ghaib dan semua yang nyata.

Dari Allah lah semuanya datang dan hidup,

dan kepada Allah jualah pasti semuanya akan dikembalikan.

I fikir apa yang I went through sudah cukup berat for myself,

I carry on as usual everyday sedangkan hati rasa macam-macam,

fikiran fikir dan takut macam-macam,

and when that news came to me,

it just hit me..

Allah uji semua hambaNya sesuai kemahuan Allah.

Sedarlah bahwa kita hanyalah hamba,

dunia ni cuma persinggahan semata.

Tapi bukan bermakna untuk menjadi dekat dengan Tuhan

kita tak boleh bahagia di dunia-- tidak.

Kalau Allah adalah yang paling mengasihani antara semua yang mengasihani,

takkan lah yang Maha Pengasih itu mahu kita sedih di dunia?

Allah cuma mahu hambaNya sedar bahwa dunia ini hanya untuk menguji semata;

ribut itu pasti akan ada,

tapi tenanglah senantiasa sangat kau sedar,

Tuhanmu sentiasa ada untuk engkau berteduh.

Takdir Allah

Tonight I belajar pasal takdir. Demi Allah, Tuhan tu Maha Baik. Specifically to Nurul Sakinah, Allah tu jaga you macam a baby. Lembut sangat-sangat cara Dia, cara Tuhan jaga you.

My break up since the past few months has made me put in a lot of efforts to connect spiritually with Allah and Islam again. I jadi suka pergi masjid. So today, after work and after makan Pelita sorang2, I nak jalan pergi masjid KLCC tapi it was already late in the evening and jalan cam jauh je so I ended up pergi Four Seasons Hotel untuk solat.

Ada satu mak cik ni, dia duduk je situ in her telekung, we didn’t bertegur pun. So after prayed, I called Aliaa as promised and I talked about Slum and a bit of W lollll I kan selamba je perangai, I thought cam “hm takpalah mak cik ni bukan kenal I pun, and mana la tahu dia tak pay attention pun I cakap apa, plus I cakap la full english and laju haha”

But after habis maghrib, she tegur-ed me and said “Aunty nak tanya, you belajar Engineering eh? What Engineering exactly eh?”

Then she went on and opened up pasal anak2 dia/problems dia (sampai menangis ☹️)and ya Allah, my meeting with her tonight really reminded me again of how takdir Allah tu memang indah sangat. I tak terfikir pun akan ada this encounter tonight but I did. This encounter buat I rasa Allah sedang menegur dan memujuk I. Lembutnya Tuhan pada aku.

Percayalah, you jaga Allah, Allah jaga you. Allah nak tegur, nak kasi solutions; cara Tuhan tu lembut sangat-sangat. Apa this aunty cakap dan luahkan tonight semuanya macam menjawab my questions and wonders yang I pendam sorang2 about what I am dealing with. Pasal family, parents and cinta.

Tonight, I want myself to remember that demi Allah, janji Allah tu benar. Perancangan Allah sentiasa lebih baik dari apa yang kita boleh bayangkan. Takdir adalah perkara yang tak diduga, tak dirancang, yang datangnya pasti dengan kemahuan Tuhan— 

dan takdir Allah itu sangatlah indah. 

Banyak sangat benda yang recently I rasa Tuhan balas balik semua ikhlas I pada Dia. Allah takkan sia-siakan hamba yang percaya, walaupun you buat dosa. Kalau you buat dosa, still pulanglah pada Allah. Recently I buat dosa pun, demi Allah, Allah masih jaga I. Masih tarik I balik to Him; baik sangat Tuhan dengan aku.

Sepanjang I cuba cari Tuhan again kan these few months, banyak kali sangat Allah temukan I dengan orang-orang yang buat I rasa kuasa Allah tu memang hebat. Dia temukan you dengan orang atau perkara yang you are meant for, all for His good intentions towards you.

One of the things yang mak cik ni cakap kat I tonight was;

“Dik, percayalah kuasa Allah. Kalau you pusing satu dunia pun, tapi kalau memang takdir you dengan dia, Allah akan temukan balik.”

Banyak lagi benda she said sebenarnya yang macam betul-betul buat I tersedar. Ya Allah, baik sangat Tuhan dekat I.

Siapa lagi nak jaga dan teman diri kita kalau bukan Tuhan?

— I wrote this because I want myself to remember this.

Percayalah pada kuasa Tuhan,

pada kasih sayang Tuhan.

Demi Allah,

Allah akan jaga.

Sentiasa akan menjaga.

—

Tonight I also realized how baik Allah towards me selama ni; 

pertemuan dan takdir aku dengan W pun adalah suatu tanda lembut dan sayangnya Allah dekat aku.

Hanya I yang kenal W in the way I did him, orang lain tak perlu faham dan tak perlu tahu.

Tonight I really am letting go,

choosing to trust in all that He plans for me.

—

I masih banyak dosa, banyak salah, belum betul-betul ikhlas dan sentiasa memilih Allah. Tapi selagi I mahu cuba, selagi tu I know that Allah will be there for me.

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I wrote all this for me.